But then I thought about it and yes, I was patient, amazingly so, when it came to people. In other contexts not so much -- my phone died on me yesterday and my first instinct was to dash it against the ground until all the pieces flew out.

And also, with machines, I can be patient too - fixing wifi, debugging code, a huge number of my vocational (and sometimes avocational) tasks require, absolutely DEMAND, that I slow down and work carefully through the problem.

Maybe I've simply learned how to take things slowly, to work on each detail as it comes up and not try to rush through it, simply because I have to, to be a computer programmer.

I feel that part of my success is because I keep my eye on the ultimate goal at all times -- what is it I want to achieve from this interaction? And then I can evaluate my instincts and responses against that goal.

When I am working with people, I think of it like this -- would I rather be RIGHT, or would I rather be FRIENDS? If I feel someone needs correcting, or informing, or adjusting -- do I want to go about this task with the goal of being right and feeling justified, or do I want to approach it in a way that keeps that person a friend, that doesn't do damage to them?

Likewise, if someone is getting all up in my nose about something (justified or not), do I want to put up my armour and assume a fighting stance, smack 'em around a bit to show 'em who they are messing with? Or will my long-term goal for the relationship be better served by slowing down, rolling with the punches, and then taking the time to work out a more measured response?

Yeah, sometimes it means being humble when I'd much rather be aggressive; I'm good at aggressive, and I have a vicious repartee when I choose to use it; and I've used it in the past... and usually regretted it. I LIKE to fight, I enjoy a tussle, but I try to keep my battles to the death in the realm of projects and inanimate objects, and not with my friends and associates.

Because I really like my friends and, while we have difference of approach or opinion from time to time, I'd rather keep them as friends rather than be "right" a lot and then have to find new ones.

Looking at the calendar, and a LONG TIME seems to have passed since the last update, but really just a weekend and a half... and two weeks!

Okay, a long time.

Last weekend, I don't even remember exactly what happened, but a new FX volunteer, Matt, came out and did diligent work on the vacuum former's oven -- drilled a zillion holes in a very difficult material, and tested out a couple different configurations of heater coil with me. Initial testing gave us way too high a resistance, so we went with a bunch of shorter coils in parallel -- but then we found that a coil or two had rather lower resistances, giving us uneven heating. A good set of experiments, and tedious, but that's science for you. He then went on to help with the shifting of materials for a bit before escaping the greater oven that is the Lab.

Phil and Yvonne have continued their explorations in dentistry, and are getting better and going deeper into new territory every visit, I'm quite pleased. Brad (right? Darn these names) and Kyle also got to see the results of their previous tooth casting, and do a bit more in the sculpting department.

I've spent a couple of weekday sessions working on Nathan's Elmo, and have pics going online now (link at the bottom). He'll be ready to mold and cast soon, at this rate, which is good, because time is short!

Last weekend I spun up the ring sections for the vortex and today I finished the other two rings for the vortex tunnel's outer layer, and last weekend Debra (not Deborah, as it turns out) helped with that some (if I recall correctly). Events kept her away today, but I suspect we'll see her tomorrow again and I'll put her to work drilling holes for the eye-bolts for the guy wires (unless she reads this and sensibly decides to hide).

Robert and Henry have been continuing in their Blood Pump work and I believe it's ready for mounting and powering now -- though I need to buy another package of my ad-hoc O-Ring material to seal them.

I'm hoping Jean brings the new burner to the Lab soon -- she sent pictures, and the work in progress is lovely -- so I can cook up some water and begin the color work for our custom blood formulation.

While I was waiting for Tall Matt to wrap up his work at the Lab so I could carpool him home, I threw together some concept skulls to see if I could -- I guess I'll be making a variety of skulls to decorate furniture and fireplaces with! I'm thinking vacuum molding forms, so I can make a bunch of 'em cheap.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something or someone... I'll fill in on the next post if I remember!

Elmo on Nathan, work in progress:

http://tinyurl.com/n4eme6

Monstrous fangs, top set painted and modeled:

http://tinyurl.com/mnrey6

Skulls test:

http://tinyurl.com/l8kv3w

I'm also just now getting my head into the new stuff in my new group at DAYJOB, and should be starting to be useful there soon too; though; the manager has this weird idea I'll be instantly productive in a new group with new code and new co-workers, even though none of it is particularly well documented. I've been working to disillusion him.

I assembled the high-power mGoblin's power supply and plugged it in... got a spark, some light smoke; very disappointed. I want either dramatic failure or a working device -- and got neither. Now I need to build it up piecewise and figure out what dumb thing I did to this perfectly good vendor circuit.

I got parts and the new PCBs in last week, so I also built up the new version of the sumGoblin (sigmaGoblin) and was able to program it, so that's good! I've got most of the code framework assembled for that as well now, so I hope to be able to monitor the Goblin Net from it soon.

I also took the blinking code and the communication code and put them together into the final form for the uGoblin (microGoblin) device and I'll build up the large-chip versions of that soon for testing.

A lot of code changes all at once means hard, painful testing... but oh well!

I spackled and sanded on Nathan's stone model and then did two coats of Alcote release agent -- which I hope works as well as advertised! I use it a little bit on teeth, but without success (I did it wrong; just one coat), and I've been putting it on all the new tooth models... so we'll see how I like it as things progress.

I didn't start the Demon sculpt on Nathan yet, nor did I do a positive from my mold, but that's okay; the Lab was too busy this weekend to really be able to settle down for the creative work of sculpting. I'll do the rough sculpt this week after work and have a first-pass kibitz this coming weekend on it.

I cast all four of the teeth that have been waiting for casts, and popped them from their plaster positives -- they all came off perfectly , except for Marla's, so I had to make another copy of teeth for her.

I also made the mold and a casting on my Humongous Fangs of Doom -- pictures linked at the bottom! They need cleaning up and painting still, since the gums are tooth colored and they are all ragged around the edges, but you get the idea. They turned out FAR better than I could have hoped, and I can even (mostly) talk in them.

Phil and Yvonne did more tooth molding and I got them up to speed on the plaster work techniques for making the copies, so that's good. While they were doing that, Kyle and Bill also made some alginate molds, and then Phil did the plaster for them. Skills are drifting out into the group, which is very exciting.

Saturday, Robert and his boy (or at least he had a boy in tow) came to the lab and I set them to work on making the second piston/valve assembly for the blood pump; their work is progressing nicely and I look forward to seeing them again next weekend. The big question for the blood pump will be how we want to power it.

Saturday afternoon, Matt, Paul and I chatted about stilts, as a result of this conversation I got a bug up my nose and went back to the lab to whip up a prototype stilt. I taped that monstrosity to my body Sunday morning (when I was fresh and less likely to damage myself) and got some good feedback on the forces involved.

There's a BIG force in only one location (the anchor point for the long toe), and that can be resolved in several ways, and it can be reduced in several other ways. I have hope! We have several plans for the stilts -- I'm poking Plan A right now, which may evolve into Plan B (which is Eric's stilt style), and could even go into Plan C (e.g. painter's stilts and a far clunkier shape for the demon).

Today I got to the Lab early and put the segments for two circles in the Vortex Tunnel into shape -- finalizing their curvature, cutting the flat ends off, cutting the fittings that hold them together, and marking all the drill points.

Deborah showed up in time to help drill stuff out, file it, and then she helped me assembled the test section of the vortex tunnel (one of three, with two of the four rings).

We then used ratcheting cargo straps to tension the section and the result was better than I could have hoped. The tunnel, with no rigid connections, no screws, no bolts, nothing more than some holes and ratchet straps, was strong and amazingly rigid.

I then went through the entire set of straps and made them the correct length, and the tunnel section snapped to square, all clean and tidy.

All in all, a weekend full of successes.

Lifecasting pics: http://tinyurl.com/ms97ha

Monster Fang pics: http://tinyurl.com/mnrey6

Maybe when I review the three books he lent me, I'll find more tips and tricks. Those orthodontists cheat; they start with pre-cast teeth and just do the gums and plate!

Another Wednesday was consumed in meetings, this time a general SCARE meeting, plus board of directors meeting. We are making great progress! Also, we have an amazing trailer video now:

http://tinyurl.com/n4c8xu

Work on the Goblin Systems timing and control modules is working apace; this programming and electronics stuff is very time consuming. Rushing through some of the development, and being done with infinite distractions, has cost me a prototype PCB cycle (oops, bad chip definition!). However, the new PCBs are coming tomorrow, and I also have an upgraded MCU set (added a dollar to double the RAM/ROM) in a box at home waiting for it.

Today's big news on the Goblin front is that I'm sending and receiving complex commands between timing modules now.

Last Saturday, I got a lifecast of my lovely self, and the mold is now sitting on a table waiting for me to pour plaster into it.

Sunday, I did pour plaster into Nathan's mold. Actually, I laid up a shell of burlap and ultracal 30 along the mold, then filled it with giant chunks of foam and THEN poured plaster into it. Trying to alleviate the weight; I only used 75lbs of plaster, instead of 150lbs.

However, the shell phase of the process made a pretty poor outer skin; lots of bubbles. These are on non-critical areas (I cast the face solid), and I will fix them tonight... but still, it lacks perfection.

After doing Nathan up stone solid, I ran over to the Lodge for our Kickoff and Casting event -- good turnout, and I got some great names of people who can do work in the FX area. I'm excited to have new help!

Last night I spent a few hours at the Lab, under my new extended Lab time model, and made the molds for four sets of teeth plus did the first-pass cleanup work on my monster fangs of doom.

Tasks in planning or in process include the vacuum table (Paul's taken the lead on that), the vortex tunnel (parts are there waiting for some structural tests), and the Demon's stilts (plus we have a new, experienced, player in that game, Eric Peterson, to help me and Paul). Exciting!

I also need to do an inventory of the materials that Dr. Carpenter gave us, and make a shopping list of what is needed to round them out. Wednesday tends to be my random task night, but Wednesdays have been busy lately! And NEXT Wednesday is the Scare meeting at the Lodge.

The last two Wednesdays a few of us have gotten together to round out the Scare project / task list. We've filled in some estimates and cut out some projects, and generally tried to get a grip on the massive task that is building an ambitious haunt. All of it is in the Wiki, so for those who have access, go check it out!

What I have been able to do the last week, however, is still pretty good. The Goblin program is coming along, and I've got a basic system of lights worked out. I need to work up some of the advanced features, and get the communication network integrated too.

I built up three of the little blinky circuits (the so-called "micro-Goblin"), and I still need to build up some of the other circuits -- the bridge/power board, the laptop interface, and the 110VAC control version.

Saturday I spent the morning reinforcing the weaker of the mother molds on Nathan's lifecast, and extending both halves of the mold down to an even, square base with a nice flange. This will make it easier to hang upside down (or plug and clamp into the rotomolding machine) later.

Saturday afternoon I packed up my makeup kit and wandered out to the IGDA picnic for abour four hours, doing some fun makeup on random strangers who foolishly wandered into our tent:

http://tinyurl.com/ljd8zm

After that I started heading to Paul's for a bit of party time, but never made it; overcome by heat and weariness, I headed home and turned into a blob.

Sunday I went to the lab a bit later than usual (10am, goodness, I'm slacking!) but I did spent an hour or two prior working on the Goblin system.

The first thing I did was clean up the INSIDE of the plaster part of Nathan's mold. I figure that cleaning up the inside of the mold once will be easier than cleaning up the two or three positive castings I expect to make later. I had hoped to cast a positive today too, but decided to let the fresh plaster cure for a day first.

Instead, I did the finish work and then heat-polished four sets of teeth; the first teeth I started when the whole dentistry project was launched months and months ago. I did some large fangs for Ian, and finally finished up Crystal, Marla, and this quiet girl's teeth (Niobium? Titania? Nicky? They are marked "Ni"... it could mean anything!).

Soon, I'll make molds and cast acrylic and be done with that phase of the project! Yay!

I also did a second pass of cleanup on these crazy saber-tooth fangs I'm experimenting with on my own teeth.

Oh, and I captured Marla's lower teeth, but didn't get Charlotte or Nathan today for some reason. Right! They must have slept in.

Coming up next: Lifecasting me, I hope I survive! Also, Nathan's first casting and the beginning of the Demon makeup in earnest.

Since I last wrote, I received my shipment of silicone, alginate, plastics, and other supplies from Smooth-On; sadly, one work-day later then I needed, so the life casting was moved forward to last weekend. More on that later.

Also last weekend we had a massive workshop setup and cleanup event (we call these things "parties" to draw more workers) -- and we got excellent results. In the midst of this chaos, Mohammad, one of our diligent volunteers, used the (shiny new) tubing bender to curve out a half dozen or so tubes for the vortex tunnel. Minions are great!

Paul, when not building new stairs to help us get IN to the lab, or shelves to help us store stuff, also started work on the portable "oven" for the vacuum table, very handy.

In my copious free time, I put together the prototype for the large blood pump. I also whipped up a useful magnetic stirring device to make it easier to formulate the blood and slime recipes (some powders really must be continuously stirred while sifting or they clump terribly). The blue LED from the variable-speed computer fan gives the whole thing an eerie mad-science glow that I love, too.

I never did get to trying to make skull-cap material out of PVA; I'm -sure- it will work, though! Just need to try a dozen or so formulations until one works... maybe next weekend.

Also, last short piece, my dentist (Matthew Carpenter, in Round Rock, great guy) has been providing information and materials support for our dental prosthetic task.

The BIG event, that we've been preparing for, was the lifecast of Nathan, who we will then sculpt Demon makeup for (pics later). We will transform this nice fellow into a nine foot horror... it will be fun! We will also do the same to _me_ (the price I demand for buying all the supplies) as a backup, and for my Christmas costume. Sadly, my own lifecasting won't be for another couple of weeks, due to schedule constraints.

Beginning our Sunday early at the Lab, I put some finishing touches on the magnetic stirrer; kicked around a bit; and started assembling supplies. We were using a number of new things this time around -- burlap and raw plaster, a new additive to the silicone to act as a built-in release, and of course, no bald cap.

The bald cap and the burlap instead of medical bandages is due to the offensively expensive nature of these items. Sadly, it turns out that at least one of them (the plaster bandages) is still critical to the success of a good plaster shell. But burlap and Hydrostone 105 (10-15 minute set time) can still act as a durable second layer just fine. And it’s infinitely cheaper than medical bandage.

I did a test of the burlap "bandage" and it set up fairly well, and it took the plaster nicely.

I got an ancient tub with remnants of some body double (the silicone I use) and mixed up a small batch to make sure it would set. It did, if a bit sluggishly.

Marla cut a bunch of burlap strips. I organized the table, pre-measured some stuff, fiddled with some minor things. Matt came around noon and built a scrap box out of scrap wood, it lovely and useful thing. Beth showed up, as did Susan P (the OTHER Susan P).

Nathan had gotten turned around, but eventually Susan was able to get him to the lab... but our noon start time was well destroyed by then.

At two-ish, I gave the assembled (restless, cat-like, distracted) crew the long, detailed "this is what we are doing" story, referring to my three pages of notes in the process. Sorry for the tedium! But I like to have a well-informed group.

Of course, Matt and Marla have assisted me on this stuff for _years_ and are great -- I'll be relying on them to do my lifecast later. A lot of the spiel was for Nathan (a complete newcomer, unaware of the torments to come, though we did try to warn him), Beth, and Susan.

That done, we propped Nathan up on a comfy stool, gave him his last chance to drink or pee for the next three or four hours, and then taped cling wrap to his head. Okay, I used spirit gum for parts, and cloth bandage tape for others.

Since we aren't doing an "art mold" but just a form (with detailed face/clavical) to act as a base for prosthetic makeup and costume, we weren't worrying about most of the details.

Once he was capped, some trash bags and duct tape made a fetching protective skirt for him. Of course, the rule at the Lab, especially if I'm working with anything the least bit moist, is to never wear anything you love...

The back shell of burlap soaked in plaster went very well, though the weight of the material made it pull away from the center line we started with -- annoying, but not too bad, since we just reset the center line after the bulk of it had firmed up. However, medical plaster bandages do a much better job of sticking and conforming to the model, so the first layer should be made up of those, with a second layer of burlap/plaster for strength (and cost reduction).

The final aspect of the back shell was to build up a ridge about an inch back from the edge, to act as a back-stop for the front shell (a technique that I decided just prior to this project) and with keys for rotational alignment. I then used some loose plaster to fill any undercuts around the ridge and to generally firm up anything that looked too dry.

Once the ridge and keys were firm, I took a sharp modeling tool and cleaned the edges, removing texture, locking points, and giving clean lines to the ridge and edge. Then, a liberal (very liberal, widely applied) layer of petroleum jelly. Yum!

The front frame went in about the same as the back, though we started with bandage based on our experience with the back shell. We had just about finished the front from (and partial shell) when we, and by we I mean Nathan, discovered that lifecasting in a 100-degree lab is not the best way to support life. Heat-induced claustrophobia took over Nathan's brain and we popped the shells off of him. We were at a point, however, that everything was in good shape.

After cooling Nathan down, we remembered that we had a (newly cleared) air-conditioned office at the back of the Lab. Oops! We moved into there to help finish revive Nathan.

To all of our surprise, Nathan then insisted that we finish the mold. Dubious, we were eventually convinced.

We strapped the shell back onto him, held in place with a loop of duct tape, and then I used one layer of medical plaster bandage to lock the halves together. No worries about having to chisel him out, though, since a single bandage will peel off pretty easily; it has just enough grip to act as a clamp.

Our trusty assistants (Marla and Glen by now, Beth had to take her leave) then started mixing up silicones.

Remember that test I did at the beginning of this day? Yeah, well, it appears that storing the silicone at the lab in fact did kill it -- it set all right, it set up almost instantly! Even with the new Hyper-Folic additive, which would normally retard the setting.

Of course, the 80+ degree weather in the office still didn't help. These materials say "Store and Use at Room Temperature." Apparently, rooms don't normally reach 110 degrees during the day.

Very aware of the amount of time that Nathan was having to spend in his shell, we threw out that batch of silicone and opened a new one, straight from the mail last week... only to find that it is setting up too fast too!

I didn't notice (at the time) that we had opened a quick-set one. Oops?

So I grabbed my trusty cartridge gun and my last two cartridges (which had been cooking at the lab just like the first, bad, tub we had discarded; I crossed _all_ my fingers on this one, believe you me!) and we went back to the old-fashioned method for the bulk of the silicone layer.

The details turned out surprisingly good for such an interrupted, heat-damaged process. For this, I have nothing but praise for my trusty assistants, Matt and Marla.

Eventually, we were happy with the silicon and I had thickened some and stuck on a few blocky, blobby keys, and we went straight in to finishing the front shell (even before the keys had set).

This was a simple layer of plaster locking the silicone onto the frame, and it went quickly and easily.

Then we popped the shells apart, as I marveled at how well my new technique at the edge worked, and pried it all off of Nathan's facial and head hair.

The tiny amount of hair-release we did manage to get onto his face, in that aborted silicone batch, did an amazing job.

Soon, though, I need to do a mix test with this stuff in a new, air-conditioned batch of silicone, to see how it affects the material.

And, from now on, I keep all delicate materials at home, and we start all lifecastings in the cold room in the back.

In spite of the excitement, we were done before six, giving us maybe three hours of working time on the model, and we got a mold that will do what we need -- provide a base to sculpt the Demon makeup onto.

Success!

I’m currently uploading over 100 megabytes of pictures to Flickr, so I don’t have links for them yet -- but look me up as EdwinWiseOne (a person) or for the sets “Blood Pump” or “Casting Nathan” to get a glimpse of the exciting life of a haunted house FX team.

Last weekend I worked on some teeth Saturday (added the pics to this Flickr set: http://tinyurl.com/dbdx6q ) and ended up roughing out a half-dozen sets, including a new experimental one on my (new) duplicate that goes over the gums, to give me more control.

Sunday, then, I built up some sculpting turntables and armatures and generally fiddled around, and then did some actual sculpting (with Beth, whose work isn't online yet)... pics of the little guy I call Elmo, who has an hour of work or so in him, here: http://tinyurl.com/njsbpc He looks kind of ragged because he is... an hour doesn't give much time to clean up!

Then, later in the week, I worked up a fairly comprehensive project list for Scare 2009 (which will kick ASS) -- it clocks in at 148 entries right now... not ALL of which are for me to do, but still, the core group is about a dozen of us, we are gonna be BUSY.

Working off of THAT list, I worked up a shopping list and then went shopping!

I bought a metric buttload of materials from Smooth-On, then scattered my cash across another half dozen or so local stores.

Used the shiny new tubing bender (three-roller variety from Harbor Freight, model #99736) to do trial bends on some 1/2" square pipe, 1" EMT (which is actually an inch and an eight OD), and 3/4" EMT. Got some excellent results, some iffy results, one bad result. Overall, an excellent tool, and for $160 it's a HECK of a lot cheaper than the next cheapest which clocks in at $1,200 (or did I see one for $800? The overpriced stuff all runs together after a while).

An interesting result of crushing the 1.25" OD pipe into the 1" dies is that it forces it into an oval shape that is strong in the direction of curvature. I don't know if I care or not, but there it is. It also requires slow adjustments or the tube will squirrel out of plane, which is bad. To get a full quarter circle uses a lot of effort! And I have sixteen of these to make! Well, 15 now.

I'm also testing a variety of (cheap-ish) wheels and casters to use as supports for the pipes, which are destined to become a middle-sized vortex tunnel.

Worked up a design for a vacuum table with companion radiant oven, so I can do a lot of efficient molding work on THAT; bought the supplies to build it of course. Got the heater wire online last week, not to bad for price, hope it behaves! Also, have a query in to Regal on cheap thermoform plastic.

Worked up a design for massive chunk-tolerant blood pumps, using 4" PVC schedule 40 pipe, some miscellaneous other PVC fittings, weather stripping for O-Ring sealing, and racket balls for check valves. So far, the O-Ring test has been VERY promising, I'm quite encouraged. May get some leakage at the edges of the ring, but overall I expect the backing material to keep most stress off the seal, and with a 4" ID pipe I'm moving a LOT of blood. I'm going to use some 6" stroke pneumatic cylinders I have laying around to drive dual 4" PVC blood pumps with alternate cycles to get nearly continuous flow.

Did some research and found a company selling water-soluble skull caps... and then did some MORE research because their prices hurt my sensibilities and decided that they were using PVA to make these; and also using PVA to make prosthetic appliances for cuts and stuff. Which is AWESOME, because I'm about to order a HUGE amount of both PVA and Methylcellulose for my fancy-shmancy slime needs. Very neat; if this works, I'll be a happy camper. Oh, had to run out to Sally Beauty to get a few foam heads, to try to make skull caps on. May have to build those up some so they are big enough.

Almost forgot; bought and reviewed relevant chapters in "Clinical Aspects of Dental Materials: Theory, Practice, and Cases"... good book! Though not as good as the one we found at Half Price books, whose name escapes me.

Okay, have to do more shopping. Then, coming up; tooth work, sculpting, and more experiments. Next weekend, life-casting! With any luck.

Need I say more?

Probably. Okay, think about it; these two statements DO NOT GO TOGETHER.

"I didn't mean to!" is a statement of intent, of will. But whether you MEANT to or NOT, if your dog bites the man, your camp fire or flicked cigarette butt burns down the forest, or you drunkenly run into a school bus full of children...

... it may still be YOUR FAULT. Own up to it, learn from it, and move on.

In fact, if you never own up to fault, you won't learn or grow, you'll be stuck as an irresponsible, useless person; a child in adult skin. That does nobody any favors.

Fault and Intent are not dependent conditions.

You wish your horrible gym teacher were dead and... he gets run over by a school bus full of drunken football players. Was it your fault? You meant for it to happen! But if you didn't drive the bus, or push the teacher, then no... the causality between wishing and events is a form of magical thinking that, sadly or fortunately, is not true.

Likewise, the disavowal of fault because of intent is the reverse form. Your intent may be as pure as the driven snow, but still, when your game of William Tell puts an arrow through your little brother's eye... it's your fault. Sucks, doesn't it?

And, of course, sometimes it is nobody's fault, but that is a different discussion about our crazy, litigation-happy society, where people think it has to be someone's, anyone's, fault... but their own.

Because, after all, they didn't "mean to".

Need I say more?

Probably. Okay, think about it; these two statements DO NOT GO TOGETHER.

"I didn't mean to!" is a statement of intent, of will. But whether you MEANT to or NOT, if your dog bites the man, your camp fire or flicked cigarette butt burns down the forest, or you drunkenly run into a school bus full of children...

... it may still be YOUR FAULT. Own up to it, learn from it, and move on.

In fact, if you never own up to fault, you won't learn or grow, you'll be stuck as an irresponsible, useless person; a child in adult skin. That does nobody any favors.

Fault and Intent are not dependent conditions.

You wish your horrible gym teacher were dead and... he gets run over by a school bus full of drunken football players. Was it your fault? You meant for it to happen! But if you didn't drive the bus, or push the teacher, then no... the causality between wishing and events is a form of magical thinking that, sadly or fortunately, is not true.

Likewise, the disavowal of fault because of intent is the reverse form. Your intent may be as pure as the driven snow, but still, when your game of William Tell puts an arrow through your little brother's eye... it's your fault. Sucks, doesn't it?

And, of course, sometimes it is nobody's fault, but that is a different discussion about our crazy, litigation-happy society, where people think it has to be someone's, anyone's, fault... but their own.

Because, after all, they didn't "mean to".

Need to find a way to RSS or otherwise feed this into Face Book and the Scare blog site; it already makes its way in to Live Journal.

Upcoming projects include the ongoing prosthetic tooth work (vampires and demons, oh my!); blood pumps and custom blood coloring/thickening (now with clots!); haunt timing, communication, and control; sculpting, molding and casting prosthetic makeup; digitigrade stilt development; articulated wings (possibly powered); and.... umm.... vortex tunnel and the tools to build it!

Either that, or live video footage of my head exploding from over-reaching.

Stay tuned!

First we hear in no uncertain terms, "We do not use torture."

Then we get, "Ummm yeah, look at these memos. Some of these things are definitely torture."

Note that if your first, absolute statement on a subject is a bald-faced lie, other statements from people in your group are going to be received with more than just a grain of salt. You've already lost credibility.

The replies to the memo release came in stages. First it's "You stupid bastards, you are aiding the enemy! We can no longer use these torture, er, intensive interrogation techniques!"

The reply to which is a roll of the eyeballs and a "umm, yeah, you are right, that's the point." Also, the techniques themselves are not secret; what was hidden was the official permission to USE them, of calling them legal and acceptable.

Floating over the airwaves now is this fun bit -- "those aren't torture because they don't cause long-term psychological harm. Heck, we did that to people during training and they came out just fine!" Or the gem from the peanut gallery, "That's no worse than hazing at a frat."

Where to start with THAT unpolishable gem? Are you saying these activities don't really work? Or they work but don't leave a mark? Or what? More later...

Now we have cries from the wilderness to release MORE memos, the ones that show the good and valuable information we got from using these not-quite-or-perhaps-maybe-is torture-interrogation techniques.

Balanced against, of course, discussions from yet more people saying that we got more bad data than good, that the good data wasn't that great, and that what we DID get, we often got before we dived into the ugly stuff anyway.

There are several threads running through this.

1. Are these activities torture?

It sounds to me that yes, some of them are, or at least we have defined them that way in the past ourselves.

Ask yourself, do you want them used on your sons and daughters? If not then... we must not use them the sons and daughters of other organizations, no matter how misguided we think they are, or how valuable the knowledge between their ears may be.

If they are effective enough to FORCE information out of someone, they are effective enough to be considered torture. If they are not torture, what makes us think they will force out good information? People LIE, especially under duress.

1b. These techniques aren't really so bad. We trained with them! We did them to students!

Consider this. You are in a class, you know the people around you, and you know the goals and limits of what is occurring in that class. Now you are told to (to take a tame example) stand in a dark room, on one foot, not moving. You do so. You know it will end, you know what comes next, and you know you can refuse or quit at any time.

Now. You are in a prison, you don't know the people around you, you don't know their goals and the limits to which they will go, and you have HEARD all kinds of horrible things from your friends and neighbors. You are locked in a dark room, told, FORCED, to stand on one foot, not moving. You do so. You don't know how, or if, it will end; you don't know what comes next, and you are afraid of what may happen if you refuse.

On top of that, the people in charge think it would be worthwhile to one-up the documented guidelines and drop spiders on your head while they are at it, you know, to make it work better (to take an idea I just pulled out of my ass; but it seems that the interrogators were not really going by the book, or the "book" lacked some fundamental guidelines at first, so this seems a reasonable extension).

Yeah, just the same. Gonna have the same long term impact. Right? Somehow I don't think so. Saying they are the same is disingenuous at best.

2. If it gets good data, it is worth it.

No. Ends can not justify the means, for down that path lies madness; and remember, everything we do will be reflected back onto us down the roads of time, and applied to our own sons and daughters, but even more so; and we won't get to complain because we set the standards.

I've talked to people who interrogate, and I've heard other people talk in interviews. The best data comes from bonding with the subject, not beating them up. And being friendly isn't going to land you in international court for war crimes.

3. Moral high ground.

We should take it. If something can be construed as torture, skip it.

Use the techniques that actually WORK, and a hint here: from what I've heard, these techniques have nothing to do with this kind of abuse.

All in all, the defending (torture is good) arguments play out like red herrings. We don't do torture (except when we do). It's not actually torture (except that it is). It's not actually damaging, so really, not torture (except the are comparing apples and kumquats; controlled training versus uncontrolled field conditions). So what if we do this, we get good data (except that we don't, and except that even if we did as a country we reject torture anyway so the point is irrelevant).

In my ears it has been translating to "please don't send me to the Hague."

Too many places, too many names.

Recently, though, I've been working up techniques and skills for making vampire teeth out of dental acrylic. I tried the build-up-from-blob-of-acrylic-then-grind-down method a few times and decided it's not for me.

What I am doing instead is doing a sculpt on a duplicate of my teeth, making a mold from that, then casting the acrylic. It has taken several iterations to get the acrylic casting to work, but I'm very very close now! It's all over but the subtleties... like, notes on how to sculpt for optimal strength and shape, and so forth.

I've also been playing with pneuamtics -- of a sort. Got me a nice little air amplifier that takes pressurized air and amplifies it in volume 20 times (says the literature).

Then I built one in PVC pipe (more or less), as well as several other air amplification and vacuum-generating configuration using various air-flow principles.

The result being a mechanism driven (currently) by a leaf blower (but later perhaps by a carpet drying fan) that sucks ping-pong balls up into the airstream and then amplifies that stream some more to shoot the balls in a swarm.

Of course, I'm still dancing, and taking Tai Chi, and going to my day job.

The next few weekends will see a bunch of work for some improved (but not really new) fire displays for Flipside, plus a beacon (not fire) for the top of our bamboo tower.

And, because I have no sense, I'll be doing promotional makeup at Scare for a Cure's cupcake stand at Eeyore's Birthday this coming Saturday! I have third shift out of four... it should be fun!

Finally, I turn 45 in a couple of weeks. Wish me luck.

Before the meat, some garnishes:

Twitter: EdwinWiseOne, that’s me.

Projects: This and that:
* Cypress CY8C21343: MCU for a smart LED/timer/controller base for the haunt.

* New Wiki: being written from scratch (DotWiki, to be at ctdwiki.com, plus tags&links database to refactor the internet. Right now the placeholder version is slow, incomplete, and slow)

* New Website: to be put at makerbrain.com (placeholder for now), to be an outlet for my creativity. And I may even monetize it.

* New articles: in Make Magazine -- issue 18 should be, and I’ve got a bunch over the last year or so as well.

* Day job: boring, may get better, but employment is never as fun as projects. How to make projects pay?

* Haunted House: work in progress

So now on with the pedantry... Mental Models!

The old saying “seeing is believing” is wrong; it would be more accurate to say “believing is seeing”. Input from your senses passes through various circuits and scratchpads and goodness knows what in your brain, where it is collected, analyzed, abstracted, associated, and turned into symbol representations of the raw data -- which in turn are stored, manipulated, combined, forgotten, ignored, reprocessed, interpreted, and then sent back out into the world as decisions and actions.

Input -> processing -> action. It’s the old robotics control loop! Ahh, good times.

What is interesting is that our imagination, our visualization and memory retrieval processes, use many of these same circuits, but in the other direction. We hallucinate our expectations into the circuitry and these hallucinations (er, expectations) facilitate our data acquisition.

Think coke, drink milk. Look for an object but “see” it the wrong size, shape, or color (which I do all the freakin’ time by accident). Listen to yourself on a recording (where the expectation of what you sound like comes from hearing yourself inside your head, which is entirely different than what you really sound like).

In a very real sense, we invent our own reality, and what we expect to experience colors what we actually experience. It’s like a filter on a lens -- the filter does not create a new image, but it changes how we see what is there. My own model of it is as a grid that is in place, a mental grid, and all incoming information tries to snap to the corners of that grid. Things that just don’t fit ... fall through. They don’t seem to make sense, and like other noise and distractions, they are discarded.

This grid-model is also reflected in a number of computing models of intelligence, such as the old-school Hebbian learning model, where input is (essentially) clustered by statistical association and then acts as a template to classify new input. See also the more recent, though different, support vector machines (which I haven’t worked with).

I have to interject here and say that this “mental grid” is not a “real” thing but it is an abstraction, a map, a tool that I am using to make a point. It is also a model, in that it can be applied to make predictions, it can be tested to see how well it works against experience, and so forth. If I wanted to prove or disprove it, I would have to restate it as a theory and devise ways to show how accurate its predictions are... that’s science! If I do a really detailed job of it, it’s not only science but a graduate degree, but I digress. I’m not doing science here, and even though this “mental grid” model makes no claims at representing anything real, I still find it to be useful in thinking about thought.

You, with your rectilinear mental grid (for example) come across a person whose mental grid is based on a hexagonal tiling... both of you see the same world, but the pieces that survive your interpretation will in some cases be entirely different than the pieces that survive their interpretation. You have constructed different realities to match your disparate experiences, training, expectations, random chance, and biological variation.

The person who believes in ghosts lives in a different reality than the hard-boiled sceptic. Someone who really, honestly lives in a world of cause and effect with no supernatural infrastructure will interpret and decide differently than a truly religious believer.

Any form of mental grid loses information, but there is TOO MUCH information to be able to cope with without the grid. You have to filter it and assign abstract meaning in ways that make sense... and, in the long run, you have to interpret and filter in ways that allow you to make more children who will then (due to being raised in your context, trained by you both explicitly and implicitly) carry forward your way of thinking. Or, in my case, write books or stories or blog entries that try to do the same.

Yes, children rebel and explore and break away from their parent’s mold... but completely? Every time? If you were born and raised Christian, it is going to be very difficult to switch over to Islam, or Satanism. There will be concepts that you were exposed to at a very fundamental level that will sit uncomfortably in your mind, regardless of what you intellectually think is true or untrue.

Of course we change, we adapt, we re-train ourselves. But think statistically again. Ways of viewing the world and methods of organizing and filtering our sensory and experiential inputs are spread in the same way as our genes are, down from the parents and through the generations. The ideas that have the most utility at PRESERVING THEMSELVES will carry farther and longer. These are not necessarily the ideas that have the most confluence with physical reality, or even sensible expectations of how things work or how people “should” behave.

Unlike our genetics, however, our minds and our ideas can (not “do” but “can”) change with time, and better ideas can propagate out and infect the people around you. A really good idea can change the world, and this has happened again and again. A really good idea can come from anyone, though exposure to the idea is necessary for it to travel very far beyond your own skull.

Take, for example, the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies. An excellent band from my adopted home town of Eugene, but no matter how great they were, it took ten years to go from being a local band to having any impact on the national scene. Growth tends to start slow and then get exponential... but growth is also done against many other bands (ideas) that are competing for the same limited resources.

My writing this journal entry is exposing this idea of the Mental Grid that I got from my father to a larger audience. If it affects the way you consider the world or your own mental landscape, then this idea will have spread a little bit more (in pure form, or mutated based on your own interpretation, it doesn’t matter) and will have a little more life in it.

This mental grid is, if you squint just right, like a street map, a high-level view of your set of mental models (which, in this cartographical analogy, could be houses. Or roads. Or something).

You have mental models of everything in your experience. You have to! That’s what we do. We see something, we categorize it, and from that category we have an instant set of expectations. See that thing over there (that brick, that house, that puddle, that stinky hippy, that uppity yuppie, that soccer mom)? What will happen if you shoot a bullet at it? Apply electricity? Kick it? Light a fire under it? Tell it you are a democrat? Tax it? Feed it hummus? Cover it in patchouli?

In many cases our mental model returns a nil result to a query... it doesn’t cover that case so you get a mental shrug of the shoulders. But if pressed hard enough, you would come up with an answer. Because that’s what we do. NOT KNOWING doesn’t mean we don’t still have a model for the context, it’s just incomplete. Or, in some cases, the question is just irrelevant to the object in question: what happens when you kick air? (okay, I have enough of a mental model of both feet and air that I have a decent answer to this... but I hope that my suck-ass example doesn’t detract from the point).

Our mental models both liberate us (I can get behind the wheel of any ordinary motorized vehicle and make it go) and shackle us (if you believe you can’t do something, you might not even try).

How can our models shackle us? Take, for example, Technology. Computers. Maybe your fancy new laptop with all the bells and whistles that you researched and purchased, and filled with exciting new games and software.

Plop it down in front of Grandma, open up Telnet, or Eagle Schematic Layout, or World of Warcraft or whatever complex aspect of your machine you are familiar with. Many Grandmas will see it and drop the whole thing, laptop and all, into their model of “fancy technology stuff that I don’t understand and am no good at.” End of story.

I don’t want to pick on Grandma, specifically, and the poor dear is an overused model anyway. Drop me in front of an engine , give me a set of wrenches, and tell me to advance the timing on the valves (or perhaps refill the blinker fluid). I’ll give you a blank stare and reach for Google, to look up a mechanic.

When your mental model for something is just a black box (see also this black box) then you tend to mash the subject of the model a few times with your fists, shake this fist at the heavens in frustration, and then throw your hands up in despair... it’s beyond you, you don’t understand it, and doesn’t work, it’s stupid, and why the hell would I care anyway?

Anger, frustration, dismissal. We all have a self image at being competent. In something, somewhere, somehow, we have a shiny nugget of self worth and value. And when we fail at something, our nugget tarnishes, and we work out strategies (right or wrong, sensible or not) to put the shine back on. Those strategies often involve devaluing the thing that caused the tarnish (see also, for example, this excellent book on cognitive dissonance).

This is part of a trend I see in the US (I would say “current trend” but it was there when I was young) to demonize the smart and the capable, the makers and thinkers, the philosopher and the mechanic (not to imply that mechanics are not philosophers or that makers are not also thinkers). The nail that sticks up gets pounded down. Heck, look to China’s not-so-distant “cultural revolution” and wonder what they were thinking. It’s not just us, it’s everyone; people don’t like to be made to feel small, stupid, or incapable.

What does this have to do with mental models, anyway?

Going back to the engine and the blank stare, for example. I have a basic model of what an engine does, and I know pretty much all of the major components (I think), but I lack any functional knowledge of how to fix, adjust, build from scratch, or even take apart such a thing. Hence, the blank stare when given the task.

What I _do_ have is a model of how to learn, of how to discover things that are unknown (debugging, the scientific method, curiosity, and obstinence are all strategies that can aid discovery), and I have a general idea of “how things work.”

That means that, given a strong enough need (strong enough to overcome my other immediate needs, like the need to sit on my ass and drink a beer, my need to exercise, or to do any of my other hundred projects) I would be able to make progress on the engine problem. I know how to break the task down, how to work through careful steps, the mental attitude required to do intricate work (e.g. slow, careful, and patient). I know how to curb my usual frustration when things go wrong or slowly, and so on and on. Not all of these pieces are the same kind of skill: some of them are emotional skills, some are intellectual; some are muscle skills; some are just from experience.

But what about your crazy girlfriend (or boyfriend) from when you were seventeen? What would they do? Could they break the problem down and make it work? How about your mom? Sibling? That one boss or co-worker who can’t seem to even figure out how the coffee machine works? How would they approach fixing an engine, or debugging a piece of code, or analyzing the timing on a new piece of hardware?

And, more important, what is your reaction when faced with the unknown, with the difficult, with the task that is beyond your reach?

The ability to approach difficult and unknown tasks is an important skill, and it is grounded in your mental models; your model of HOW to do things, and your model of WHO YOU ARE; your skills, your abilities, your emotional reactions (which I think are as much trained as they are innate), and so on. Just because your mental model says you suck at (for example) Math or Electronics or Engine Repair does not mean that it is a true model (because all models have faults), or that it can’t be changed (because nothing is truly unchangeable).

It’s easy to take our own expectations and beliefs at face value, and to limit ourselves to what we think is possible (or easy, if you are lazy). Part of our limiting mental models are grounded how we were rewarded as children, and how these rewards (and expectations) are stated -- are you rewarded for being smart or good at something, or at the work it took to attain it? Did you ever find reward intrinsic in a task, or was it all external? Were you ever challenged to do hard things, or was “lack of talent” an easy fallback? It is easy to fall back on the crutch of “oh, I can’t do that, I have no talent for it.”

Talent is, in no small part, a lie. Sure, some people are GREAT at something, and apparently with no effort. Scratch the surface, though, and in many (most?) cases you’ll find someone who sucked at the task at first but then got better through hard work and diligence.

On a related note, making things (and especially completing things) is hard, surprisingly so in light of the actual work involved in them (see, for example, The Courage to Create)

This brings me, the long (long!) way ‘round to the subject of the Maker community, and the spirit of Making. I think that being immersed in a world where people actually DO stuff and MAKE things, no matter what these things are, from crafts to complex machinery, helps you think of yourself as a capable human, able to do more than consume like good little citizens.

Making is Revolution, and changing the way you look at the world, from passive to active, is the first step.

Oh, and exercise more. Your body is your friend; if nothing else, it carries your mind around for you.

I have! Just recently, too!

Hemostats (haemostat) -- "a surgical instrument that stops bleeding by clamping the blood vessel"

The jagged TEETH on these things, though, make me thing that the version I got would make a pretty unpleasant blood vessel clamp.

However, for holding wire, tiny jewelry bits, hose, or really anything, they are excellent! Mostly I use them for holding tiny bits of wire as I manipulate the in-bead LEDs that I am building up these days.

I can't hold the wire by HAND since soldering makes my fingertips burn, and frankly, my fingers are just too big to get into that small space.

I could hold the wire with tweezers (my previous solution), but I keep dropping stuff.

I could use squeeze-to-open tweezers, but those don't hold all THAT well and I never could find a set I liked.

The hemostat, however, especially the one with the curved tip, clamps down on the wire like a hungry piranha and does not let go... until you ask it nicely. A piranha with manners.

Now I'm using (and abusing) my 3 hemostats with abandon, wondering how I ever survived without them.