Mambo.
I've tried four times.
It seems that mambo music makes me angry... Hulk Smash! Grrrrr!
I really really don't like mambo music. It grates against my soul, it bludgeons my mind, and destroys my good humour. I might as well try to dance to the screetching of fingernails on a chalkboard.
Mambo music was discovered by a man who fell down the stairs with an armload of percussion instruments... after which, he went, "that was interesting! Let's make a dance out of it!"
I will NOT be dancing mambo this year.
Or perhaps ever.
My time would be better spent sanding off my fingerprints. Or perhaps chewing glass.
I remember, a year or three ago, when we were visiting the exotic pet store -- the Zoo Keeper, I think. In their window they had a big stick and some decorative this and that, making a lovely display. In this display, hanging from the branch, was a large stuffed animal, looking like it could be some representation of a big sloth. That was neat! Though it was kind of curled up into a ball.
Watching it long enough, though, and you would find it... moved!
So cool! A real sloth! And I tell you, they are slothful; soparific beasts who move at a leasurely, almost invisible pace.
I don't know if they have that sloth there still, but I know where you can get a similar experience.
I went to the Radio Shack today, to buy a phone, and was reminded of the sloth as I watched the Radio Shack Person (You have questions? We have blank stares!) box up the nice little phone I had just bought. It was the display model, so he had to put a few pieces into bags, and put the battery in the phone, and this and that.
And he did it so slowly, it was an amazing thing to see. I think it took him fifteen minutes to put it all into the box, I swear! Marla will swear with me, too, because she was there... in fact, once we left the store, there was a variety of swearing going on.
I had never seen a (presumably) living, breathing human work so slowly before. It was an experience I hope not to suffer through again.
My ant poisons have been about 40% borax or boric acid (I'm moving to boric acid now), and 60% bait.
It looks like 10% boric acid is fine. Here is the formula from Patent 5939061:
2% to 5% Pectin by weight (to make this a gel)
.01% to 0.5% calcium salt (e.g. calcium carbonate, calcium chloride)
.001% to 10% toxicant (e.g. boric acid)
Dry attractant (20% to 40%) consisting of:
0.01% to 10% cellulose
1% to 10% sugar
0.5% to 5% plant starch (e.g. corn starch)
30% to 60% instant nonfat dry milk
20% to 60% dried egg yolk (where do I get THAT?)
0.0001% to 0.010% sterol compound
0.1% to 1% uric acid (makes ants think it is safe)
2% to 15% vegetable oil
Ultimately, about 20-40% protein, 20-40% fat, and 20-40% carb, with water to round it out (40% to 70%)
Personally, I think his use of percentages is totally wacky... but whatever makes him happy.
Apparently, different ants like different foods at different times of year, switching between carbs and proteins.
So a couple weeks ago I put out bait in the form of borax and sweetened catfood... this got a good response from the ants, and we had a reduction of ant presence soon after.
But not enough.
So a few days ago I made up a triple-threat bait, where one puddle is sugar, another is peanut butter, and the third is ordinary catfood -- all of which was heavily mixed with borax. This also got a good response, and there are very few ants visible now in the house. Yayy!
I did note, however, some accursed fire ants living in the back porch. Unacceptable. I mixed up some cat food and boric acid, but I can't put it out because the orange stray is very persistent in trying to GET to the catfood there.
I also poked around a bit, and there are a bunch of patents available on ant bait and poisoning... I may end up doing more research.
On a more upbeat front, I have two stories in at magazines on, waiting for reply... and I have a third waiting for October 1 and the opening of another magazine's review period.
Still editing... I'll get all 8 out at least once this year, I hope, and be writing more. Who knows, maybe one of 'em will stick!
I've been spending more time in the "real world" lately -- cleaning house, organizing my makeup, sealing and sanding and finishing the lovely cherry wood entertainment center that Marla's father made for us last :cough: Christmas :cough:, and previously of course, researching magazines and now also editing stories and sending them out.
Eternity is out pending, but I think it needs more edits... First Love has gone through a rigorous editing process, including review by Marla who found some more rough spots that I am smoothing. I'll send that in Monday.
Yesterday was a road trip day... a two and a half hour drive to Houston to buy dance shoes! $400! Three pairs! Heal condoms! A new wire brush! Ron and Lonnie, two very nice guys, very enthusiastic. I'm glad we went.
On the trip up, we decided to take a different route than 290 home... there was a tanker truck upside down in a ditch on the Northbound lane, and several miles of parked and unhappy drivers behind it.
Of course, this real world activity has been crimping my writing time... but it's been good too.
Amidst this grounding in physical activity, I was met with a spooky thing this morning.
Yesterday morning I spent two hours sanding (technically, steel-wooling) the entertainment center. Ugh. It was not bad, to do _once_, but it reminds me also why I don't work in wood. Then Houston. Then, upon return, I put the second coat of plastic on the wood.
This morning, on one of the drawers, I saw two little dusty footprints.
The drawers are standing vertically on the ground, their shiny faces staring up at the ceiling. The garage itself is sealed, of course, and we were asleep.
But there they were, two little, human, footprints, in dust, on the face of one drawer. I almost didn't see them, but I was inspecting the finish against the light, looking across it for dry spots.
And there they were. A left print right on the edge, just a big toe, a little toe, a bit of the ball of the foot. And to the right of it, in the middle of the wood, a right foot print, the big toe, a few little toes, and the front of the foot. I could even see fingerprint in the print. And these toes and feet were.. smaller, rounder, then our feet. We have long monkey toes, these were cute little round prints.
Soooo..... I'm writing ghost stories? It seems I also have a ghost.
Sooooo Monday we put a nice sealer on the entertainment center that the dad-in-law built for us last Christmas... verrrrry pretty cherry wood. A bit stinky, the sealer.
So today I polyurethaned everything, even moving the big bits outside so the stinky wouldn't invade our home.
Good plan. Verrrrry stinky polyurethane. I think I killed a few brain cells and annoyed my lungs. This is, mind you, in a full-open garage... I hate to think what it would have been like indoors.
Next weekend -- buffing and coat #2!
I almost feel normal, doing stuff connected to the real world these days.
Now, to see if my staggering brain, what's left of it, is up to editing some more of story #2, "First Love". On page about 6 of 28 so far (double spaced, so not as scary as it might sound).
Okay, the drought is making them bold, so the time has come to reduce the ant population some. So today, I, the Bait Master, mixed up a special blend of catfood, sugar, and borax (hoping to lure ants with both meaty tendencies and a sweet tooth). We'll see how well this one works. Usually I use one mix of sugar, water, and borax in one pile, and peanut butter and borax in another. This is more efficient, if it appeals to the little monsters. I want to try it on red ants, too, sometime.
So we'll see if they start trails to the yummy yummy food or not, and in a couple days, all activity should cease... or at least, seriously diminish.
Baited one outside (the outdoor orange cat, Sparky, was eager to eat this instead, but I cage it under a bowl and he was unable to get access, one in the kitchen at their favorite trail spot, one in the bathroom, and one in the front hall.
Did I mention the ants had been busy lately?
On another note... who wants a friendly, frisky, orange, male cat? We have a spare.